Rethinking this whole blog thing. Yeah, it’s fun writing and all, except now that I’ve laid it all out there; exposed my innermost struggles to the entire cyber world, etc., I realize I have an obligation to update you on my situation since last we met. (Sigh) Why didn’t I start out pretending to be a tall, shapely supermodel who moonlights as a neurosurgeon, or a professional ballroom dancer who enjoys rock climbing and dog sledding during my spare time? Nope.. I had to go be honest and tell you I’m a lumpy, plumpy, middle aged woman who works sitting in front of a computer. What’s worse is, during my “real life” spare time, guess what I’m doing? …..Sitting in front of a computer. (Waiting to hear the sound of your jaw hitting the floor In shock at my admitted life of lethargy, but can’t hear a thing over those steenkin’ crickets).
So, I met with my doc… Dr. Ngyuen. Awesome doctor. You really feel like he cares. And he actually bothers to follow up with you. I suppose I’m lucky to have him. Didn’t feel so lucky on Monday, though. First, I start off the visit with a weigh-in. Good Lord! I didn’t realize they were embedding weights in the rubber soles of sneakers these days! OK, OK, OK…. So I gained a few. I played it off, like I knew it all along, but inside I was biting my cheeks in mortification (not so easy with chubby cheeks). So.. next up was the blood pressure reading. YIKES! Hurt like, like,…. like I was the juiciest grape in the winepress. No surprise that my pressure was high. Oh no. What WAS surprising though, was when the nurse announced that whenever they get a high reading, they need to take a second one. Are you kidding me lady!?! I looked her over carefully, determined to memorize her face, in case she happens to be in the path of my grocery cart at some point in the future. Thank goodness, the second reading was a little lower, but still high. I followed her to the exam room. Why do doctors make you wait so long? I have a theory. It’s to give you quiet time to reflect on all your sins. Or else, time to make up a convincing story, like “Honestly doc, I’ve only been eating salads and I’ve been working out 3 times a week. Must be big boned.”
The moment of truth has arrived. In walks Dr. Ngyuen. I’d forgotten how sweet he is. He has the kindest face. I didn’t even mind when he started asking me what went wrong. I briefly thought about giving him the made-up story, but God zapped me where I sat and I had to tell the truth. “Well doc, I was going to Curves and feeling great. Lost a good deal, then I began working at XYZ* Co. I began to put off working out, blaming my job’s hours. Then, I began slipping in the blood testing area (I have Type 2 Diabetes and should be testing daily), then I starting eating stuff that I knew was really bad for me.” For a second, the devil whispered in my ear and I began to explain to the doctor how the economy has prevented me from buying healthy foods. I could only afford to buy cheap, fatty cuts of meat and lots of potatoes, beans, rice and bread, oh and Krispy Kreme Donuts. ….. Yeah, he made the same face you’re making right now. After hearing me out, he said “I’m going to forego medication for diabetes for now. You’re borderline and I believe with effort, you can control your sugar levels. Where is your blood tester? Do you even still have it?” ….. “Um, nope…. But, but…my husband (also Dr. Ngyuen’s patient) hasn’t been testing either. And he hasn’t been feeling so great lately either.” Yes, that’s right folks, I threw my diabetic husband under the bus in an attempt to deflect attention from myself. I’m so ashamed…. NOT! Hehehehe “OK, I’m ordering new testing kits for both of you. You’d both better start using them. Tell him to make an appointment with me, or I WILL be sending him a postcard. As for you. New lab tests in August and I want to see results.”…. “OK doc, but let me just warn you. I can’t really start a diet till next week, cuz my sister’s taking me out to dinner for my birthday.”…. “Nice try. You’ll start now. Eat your birthday dinner and start again the next morning. One more thing. When was your last tetanus shot?” Tetanus shot!?! …NO WAY!……… So, he orders up a tetanus shot before I leave! “I didn’t sign on for no steenkin’ tetanus shot. I haven’t been eating from garbage cans for pete’s sake! I’m just fat!” Too late, he’s left the office. Two minutes later…… sheeeeee’s baaaaack…… the evil nurse who squeezed all the blood from my left arm. And she’s holding a needle! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZ LOOOUUUEEEEZZZ!!! She shot me in the same arm!! That’s it lady! Stay away from Ralph’s Market or be askeered…. Be very askeered!
Fast forward four days. Just had my birthday dinner with my sister and my niece, Jacqui. We didn’t have Thai. We had sushi, which I also adore!! Ate like piggies. But, I would like to add, I’ve eaten pretty healthy since the dr. visit…. Well, one slip up on Thursday…. But it could have been worse. I’m going to take it a day at a time. If I fall off the wagon, I’ll huff and puff and climb back on. Seriously, I really do want to be healthy. Improving my appearance would be a nice outcome, but, my main goal is to be here to see my grandkids grow up. OK Lord What’s the scripture for the day?…..
Proverbs 13:3 - He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. (Yes, I know the popular interpretation = guard your speech; But, I’m going to apply it to my situation, cuz I think it still works, OK Lord?)
* Company name has been changed to protect…. me….. it’s none o yer beeswax!
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