As I was watching a Lifetime movie this Sunday, I was inundated with at least 80 commercials for the new season of “Project Runway.” I LOVE this show–can’t get enough–but as I was pondering this season’s new talent, something came to me. Heidi Klum cannot be human. First and foremost, has anyone ever seen a bad picture of this woman? In this age of hyperactive, ravenous media, we see all sorts of celebrities caught in bad makeup, no makeup, compromising positions, etc. I defy you to bring out the bad Heidi picture. They don’t exist.
Secondly, her career is rockin’. Everything she touches turns to gold. She has a TV show, her own blackberry cover, and a jewelry line. I drag my ass into work every day and think I’ve done something.
Also, she manages to produce one beautiful, well dressed, well-coiffed child every two years or so. With Seal. SEAL!!! Seal had me at “Kiss from a Rose.” Upon completion of giving birth to said child, Heidi is exquisite. Indeed, runway ready. Her midsection looks like that of a highly trained triathlete. Since my last child was born, over two years ago, mind you, my belly stays swathed in over-sized T-shirts, mostly because it resembles a deflated inner tube.
Even at her lavish, wildly expensive Halloween parties, the girl looks good in Halloween makeup. I’m letting you be the judge on this one, but come on–nobody is this perfect. Jealous? Sure I am. If you’re not, it’s because you’re a man!
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