I want to share with you a couple of posts I made on a fellow TT Transformation Challenge participant’s log.
It all started when she wrote this:
I totally totally totally suck
You know, I lost about 9 lbs and a bunch of inches. That was prior to this weekend. Now I feel as if I gained it all back in two days. I hate the lack of control that I feel over my eating habits. I’m so angry with myself.
Another of our fellow contestants (getfit2009) replied:
Relax – there’s no way you can add 9 lbs in a weekend – just get back on track again.
Do you know if there’s anything special that leads up to the situations where your bad eating habits take over? – might be a good place to start to see what you can do in those situations instead.
And I followed with this:
As for the internal messages we take from the words we use – hon, you don’t “totally, totally suck”! You made a poor choice in one situation. But you have made many, many good choices, which is why you are now closer to your goals than you were, say, a year ago. Get it right more often than not and you will get there. If you are trying never to make a mistake, you’re not in the right place. Try Pluto!
If you want to make a better choice next time, like GF2009 said, start to look at why you are making those choices in those situations.
We all still love you. Your family still loves you. Your friends still love you. Here’s to making better choices next time.
Anyway, that seemed to work for a while, but then today came this from our poor benighted fellow contestant:
Frustration rears its uglyhead
Aaaargh!!! Need to vent!!! Doing pretty well overall although not perfect which I’d really like. Was planning on fasting yesterday after breakfast ’til breakfast today. Didn’t happen. Just wasn’t feeling it. I was feeling sesame chicken and ben and jerry’s, unfortunately, which I really enjoyed but probably gained a lb of fat and some water, too. Been trying to do ESE instead of cutting and tracking my calories daily. Prob is, I feel like I get SO few calories to begin with!!! Anyway, I’m fasting today but I’m so cranky. Having an angry fast day which sucks (especially for my kids who are feeling my wrath). Feel frustrated over a lot of things. Torn between being happy for all of your successes and envious that I feel like such a freak. Want to be happy with how I look and feel without having to eat 1300 calories a day for the rest of my life. Hubby will be making whole wheat and walnut pancakes this weekend and I’m angry that I won’t be able to have any.
Thanks for letting me vent……
And my reply made me realise, yet again, what strides I have made in the last few months. This is what I said:
Have the damn pancakes. And post the recipe. Like you said, this is your life. You’re not going to get another one.
I have been unhappy with my weight for nearly 30 years now. I’m 40. I’ve learned to loathe myself whilst getting progressively fatter and fatter.
At the beginning of this year I made a decision. There is a history of heart disease, obesity, diabetes etc in my family. I was 40 years old, my blood pressure had just jumped into the hypertension range for the first time after being ‘normal’ for years, I was carrying around at least 6 stone (84 pounds) above my ideal weight, and I was a statistic waiting to happen.
I decided to make some changes, but I also made a decision that I would not make myself miserable over a number. My husband loves me and finds me attractive. I would learn to be a little easier on myself. I would not do ANY programme that did not let me lead a normal life. I didn’t want my life, and my practically every waking thought to be about food – did i have enough calories/points left? was it over 3 hours since my last meal? did this food have [insert banned food of choice] in it – was it allowed? was there enough protein in my snack? Did I have my cool box with my 24 meals in it for the day before I left the house in the morning? Had I earned my carbs? Etc Etc.
As a result, I am not following a meal plan as such. No ESE. No PN. No Weight Watchers. No calorie counting. Nada. I try to eat more nutritious foods on a weekly basis. Increase my portions of fruit and, especially, vegetables. Drink more water. Choose whole grains. Pick lean organic meats and dairy. Avoid processed foods and words I can’t pronounce. I knew that I would lose weight more quickly by following one of the other programmes, but I’ve been there before, and I guess you have too. By trying to be healthier, you are loving your body and yourself, rather than punishing yourself on a daily basis. This is for ever.
Anyway, I have lost 18 pounds of weight and 5.2% body fat since the beginning of the year. I have eaten goujons, and drunk Dime Bar milkshakes. I’ve eaten out with friends, drunk wine, even had the odd plate of potato wedges with sour cream and sweet chili sauce. Yet I am seeing changes in my body, my energy levels, and most importantly, my self respect on practically a daily basis.
I had an epiphany a while back. I wrote on my blog:
I no longer have good days or bad days, as defined by what I put in my mouth. They’re just days.
And then, after a weekend staying with friends, where friends cooked dinner, and I enjoyed them, the food, the company, the wine and the garlic bread – all in moderation:
I promised myself a month or so back that I would no longer define a ‘good day’ or a ‘bad day’ by what I put in my mouth. A bad day is when a school collapses in an earthquake and 200 children are killed. My garlic bread consumption is just another day in my ongoing journey to be a better me.
You seem to be on a treadmill (or a hamster wheel) of deprivation and regret. You don’t need to work harder to be ‘good’. You need to get off the wheel. It is this cycle that got you to where you are now. Old saying: if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.
I truly hope some of this is getting through to you. One day, on your death bed, you are not going to look back at your life and think, damn, I really shouldn’t have eaten those pancakes. If only I’d lost more weight…
I’d like to recommend a couple of books to you.
The first one is Fed Up and is written by a doctor, psychiatrist and ex-eating disordered woman, and includes a lot about the science of how dieting/restriction affects our moods and our physiology. Despite this it is an easy read, a real eye-opener, and you will no doubt identify yourself in much of it. There are used copies available on amazon.com from $0.01!
The second one is The Body Fat Solution, Tom Venuto’s new book. He is an ex-champion body builder, yet despite his undoubted expertise in the fine tuning of transformation, he has a very common sense approach to the simple improvements that ‘ordinary folk’ can make to massively improve their health and fitness. This book claimed to be about overcoming emotional eating, and that comprises the first half of the book, and it was something in this book that finally got through to me and has been propelling me throughout the year. But there is also some very sensible nutrition stuff in there, general guidelines that will get you to where you want to go without turning it into rocket science. (There’s also workouts, but you don’t need to follow these – they are extremely TT-like with the exception of additional isolation exercises – no doubt, a throw back to Tom’s body building days – that add little other than time to your workout. Still, it is an easy read and I would recommend it.
I think you need to reconsider what you want to achieve in this challenge. Use this time, and the people here, to help you change your life, rather than your body. It is not a race. And most of us will never see the prize money, which, let’s face it, is hardly of the life-changing variety. We are here for the support and the accountability. Use the contest to learn to become the person you want to be.
Sorry for going on and on on your log. It’s just you remind me so much of myself, and I am so glad that I am (mostly) off that wheel. I will always have to be ‘careful’ about what I eat, and continue to workout, if I don’t want to revert to the blob I was at the start. But I now realise that I can do that without giving up the things that make life worth living.
ps. Don’t forget that pancake recipe!
Will let you know if I get the pancake recipe.
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