When I think of Taco Bell, I think of the time I got really drunk and woke up with a chicken soft taco in my bed. And then ate it for breakfast.
I think about their sweet, delicious churros. And how everything there is smothered in ooey, gooey delicious processed cheese. Then topped with sour cream. I think about how I learned my first Spanish phrase from their little spokes-dog.
What I don’t think about is diet or weight loss. I mean, it’s Taco Bell – who would?
Well, someone did.
Apparently some lady with a deep love for burritos lost 50 pounds eating Taco Bell (from the drive-thru – homegirl couldn’t even get out of the car). And now, thanks to her tremendous success, the head honchos over at Taco Bell HQ are trying to make us all think about Taco Bell in a new way. As in a healthy-after-workout option and not in a only-when-you’re-black-out-drunk sorta way.
I don’t know about you, but I just don’t buy it. I want to lose my muffin top (which has made its way to Costco-size) just as much as the next girl who spent her first three days of 2010 eating some variation of noodles and cheese, but at Taco Bell? Let’s be honest – any weight lost “thinking outside the bun” will be lost on the toilet. I know you know what I’m talkin’ about. And I know for a fact that’s not the way any of us want to spend our 2010.
I applaud Taco Bell for their attempts to introduce vegetables to their loyal Gordita-guzzling patrons, but pushing the Fresco Fourth Meal as a weight loss option? That’s just insulting.
Stick to what you’re good at, Taco Bell: low grade meat smothered in fake cheese and gobbled up by drunk people who’ve long abandoned their dreams of weight loss.
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